This week was really intense, I felt good since Tuesday and had been a hurricane since then…
This was my main problem also last year when I started the tamoxifen… I felt so tired all the time but apparently I am not mature enough to accept my limits, I just keep doing a million things until I am completely knocked out ! I didn’t change much since then…
I stopped buying christmas presents a couple of years ago and instead I bake cookies for my friends, which is a little bit more stressing, but at the same time I enjoy the cooking part and is a nice gesture of love! So I spent my friday baking cookies and buying christmas decoration for the christmas party I hosted with my boyfriend at our place….
Since the chemo I started to eat only natural organic foods,almost no meat, mostly fruit, lots of fresh…
It’s all sinking in … quite literally! This cycle saw me in bed for 6 days….6 days! Could not even try and fight it, I now understand FATIGUE!
The cycle itself was SEVERELY painful due to the cording (vein damage), so much so that they had to stop and start chemo as I was in tears – pure pain and SPASMS through the hand and arm. To this day, it is very, very sore…
It has been decided that for my next cycle, I will be fitted with a PICC line, which will be threaded to sit on top of the heart. I will receive chemo this way for the last 3 cycles. I am being fitted with this on 22/12, then will have an Xray done to ensure that it is in the correct position.
I was completely WIPED out by this last cycle…..my body has recognised the chemo now and trying to deal with it. I feel a lot weaker and out of breath now, so need to do things at a different pace than I am used it. Yesterday I was clearing some paperwork, just tearing the paper was painful for my arm and I was so tired. *I got Gingko Biloba for the fatigue, should have had it from day one but at least I have it ready for the next cycle.
Oh, I also forgot to take the laxatives for the first 2 days, OMG…NEVER will I EVER forget that. I won’t go into detail about that….just know that I have been eating LOTS and LOTS of prunes!
My dog is very confused – one minute, I am taking her for 2 hour daily walks, 1hr in the morning and 1 hr in the evening, then my cycle happens and BOOM….she has to pace the floor to get anyone’s attention that she needs to go out!
I had 50ml fluid inserted into my inflatable yesterday.Consultant said that she has never seen a reaction to the breast in her career like mine has had since I had the infection a few weeks ago. She was hoping that the mastectomy would just be a smooth shape and the fluid would be gradually inserted to give me the clevage and symmetry that I am used to. She is still unsure if we will keep the inflatable in but will review again on the 9/01. Having woke up this morning after the 50ml from yesterday, everything seems *ok*.
I need to get back on track with my juicing. I have now bought http://www.crazysexydiet.com produced by a cancer survivor, so that is my mission for the next week, getting back on track!
My next chemo is on 24/12…..<insert cries here!>…though, I am looking at it this way, it’s my Christmas present to be one step closer to finishing!
I continue to meet the most amazing people through this journey, going through similar, if not WORSE. These women are so inspiring, makes me feel humbled and grateful for my life and this chance I have of getting through this.
Right, I have a parents Christmas event to attend tonight, Winter Wonderland theme….perfect timing as I am in the ‘good zone’ and I have one hand that works, one hand is all you need to hold a glass of delicious bubbly! 😉
Well, tomorrow has come around quickly – if you know what I mean! Yup, it’s Fekkin FEC time again!
I have had the best 10 days EVER! Sorted out heaps at home, ok, I had a lovely lady help me and I’ll give her a shout out here as she travelled out of her zone to do so and what a FABULOUS job she has done! http://www.organise-your-house.co.uk/ (I’ll come clean, mine is the blue kitchen – when she puts the photo’s up)
I have worked 10 hours flat! I am self employed and wouldn’t have it any other way but it’s at times like this, I feel that this chemotherapy and cancer *stuff*, is just plain down inconvenient!
So, tomorrow marks my ‘half way mark’ – not one to count but I find myself counting now. I also heard that when my next phase starts (I am on FEC-T), which is the T for 3 more cycles from Christmas eve – this is where things go downhill…..steroids are needed the day prior to chemo and they keep you in for a a while under observation, due to the side effects…swelling of the legs (!?), back pain and sore throat…
Thankfully, I am re-reading the book The Secret which my dear friend bought me 6/7 years ago. If you have read this book, you will know that what you think is very powerful and that sends out a message to the universe. So, if I think this is going to be worse, it WILL be worse. I am not thinking that 😉 Also from The Secret, see below :
I have realised that the further you get away from your last treatment, the more your taste buds come back! I still need VERY STRONG things…I’m talking GORGONZOLA or nothing!
I went to the gym about 10 days ago…I have now frozen my membership until March! Dog walks instead. A combination of things I believe but yeah, even ‘light’ movement on the Xtrainer for only 9 minutes, wasn’t the brightest of ideas! I ended up with an infection, on anti biotics for a week and a temperature of 38.5 for 2 days!
To my surgeons surprise, my breast has puckered, so on my last visit to her, she did not inflate the implant as it was purple/red and she decided to let the ani biotics do the work. I am due back on 12/12 for her to review. It has mostly been uncomfortable and slightly painful – the implant may just not be agreeing with me but we will review it.
The cording is back and OH Sooooo painful! yesterday had bloods done, injected into vein used for chemo – no blood! More vein damage – let’s hope they have one to use tomorrow because my arm is now BATTERED and I can’t use the other arm for blood pressure or bloods as have had my nodes removed.
Sing a long with me….to the tune of the 12 days of Christmas….’1 bad boob, 2 dodgy arms and hair … almost GONE!’ 😛
I have lost 40% hair now, using the cold cap. I am ok about it but when more falls out, will need to make some decisions. Here’s a picture to update you of my hair and my sudden love and need for Bolly! I feel on top of the world when I drink it….forget the flowers, bring on the Bolly! <said in my best Patsy voice>
Ifoundalump 