Reality is sinking in…

I’m sitting here, putting together my hospital file of all my letters, appointments, booklets that get given at each stage of diagnosis and update and what to expect at each different treatment….

I’m looking at consent forms, mastectomy information, reading about my stage of cancer, the highest you can get if you’ve got it, grade 3, aggressive, fast growing…

Like what the hell just happened this summer 2014!?

Found a lump, had it checked out and life will never be the same again. It won’t.

I’m not talking about the impact of the mastectomy itself – well yes, sitting here thinking about it, it’s really suddenly hit me, holy shit, how the heck did you manage to breeze through THAT and not have a nervous breakdown!?

Just today I was thinking of how I explain my ‘situation’ to people…Do I have cancer? Did I have cancer? Well, technically speaking, I believe it should go something like this : I was diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer, had a mastectomy and 13 lymph nodes removed, 8 were cancerous and I’m about to start chemotherapy and radiotherapy will happen after that. The process is to kill off/zap any stray cells they may not have got during the ‘clearance’ and to try and prevent them from growing again.

It’s definitely helped with those annoying calls esp on my mobile just today, do I have time for a survey? Erm, no I don’t sorry, I’m just about to nap as need my energy for chemotherapy…..

I say things will never be the same again because they won’t! This ‘experience’, ‘situation’..has given me the edge I need. You see, before this had all happened, I was finally getting direction and learning to live according to the Law of Attraction….heck, I’ve even got a vision board, with stuff on!
But one thing, I/we, were working very, very, hard at getting to where life’s journey had taken us. For the last 5 years, the pressure has been immense and only on reflection can you see just what you put yourself through in order to get what we wanted as a family.

This was my wake up call. No more. It can’t happen like this anymore. It’s got to be done differently.

We will now STOP and enjoy LIFE! The hard work is DONE!

I’m still very set on achieving my goals and business/life plans but I’m learning to do things differently.

Anyways, I’ve drifted.

I’m sitting here with my hospital book as I’ve got my heart cardiogram tomorrow and I’m looking for my letter, which confirms the appointment time…




One thought on “Reality is sinking in…

  1. Keep positive! Your absolutely right – rest of your treatment is preventative because the cancer had been removed. Try to plan treats for you and hubby and family because you need lots to look forward to. Stay strong and sending you twitter hugs xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s